Last year at this time my prayers were answered. You see, it took me years of heartache to reach the joyous moment when I found out Alyssa would finally become a big sister. It took 3 and half long years to be exact.
In those 3 + years, I realized that I have some of the best friends in the world. Those years happened to be a ridiculously fertile time in my group of friends and it felt like something died inside me any time I heard another big announcement. Don't get me wrong, I was ecstatic for my friends but sometimes it was an awfully bitter pill to swallow. Nonetheless, they understood.
When it came to the point where I could no longer bare to attend baby showers, my friends understood. When I needed a hand to hold, they were there by my side. When I needed space, they gave it to me. Looking back I can't really even put in to words how much it means to me. I would never wish that journey on anyone.
Today I feel grateful and my heart feels healed. Sometimes I sit here staring at my girls and it brings tears to my eyes. Brian thinks I am crazy but I can't stop myself from being overwhelmed by how much I love these crazy kids. I am sure that in a few years I will need to read this again when Alyssa enters the teen years so I can refrain from strangling her. Until them, I will settle for being the crazy emotional Mom who cries just by watching her girls play on the floor.
Damn you- thanks for making me cry. Let them know they have an uber-emotional auntie, too.
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